National Women’s Month
March 2019
March is National Women’s Month and I’ve been reading about some amazing women. The theme for this year is “Visionary Women: Champions of Peace & Nonviolence” For me a few names immediately come to mind; Jane Addams, considered to be the Mother of Social Work and Mother Teresa, the Catholic nun who dedicated her life to caring for the destitute and poor in the slums of Calcutta.
Fifteen women are being honored this year by the National Women’s History Alliance. Women such as Dorothy Cotton, the only woman in Dr. Martin Luther King Jr’s inner circle and one of the most influential women in the civil rights movement. Another is Sister Alice Zachmann, Founder and former Director of the Guatemala Human Rights Commission USA and Sarah Brady, gun control advocate whose husband was permanently disabled in the failed attempt to assassinate then-President Ronald Reagan.
We all know women that have affected our lives. Some of these women might be world renown yet other women may be unknown outside your circle. One woman you may have never heard of is a woman that did not change the world, one country or even one state. What she did, however, was to be an amazing force to anyone around her.
She was born in 1920 and raised in Ohio. Life was difficult with not much money to make ends meet. Her father died of tuberculosis while living away from home in a sanitarium and it wasn’t long that her mother remarried. Her high school years proved difficult living with an abusive stepfather, but her church and faith helped her get through. After she graduated high school, she moved to New York City to further her education and enter the ministry. Hardships followed and while in school she became ill. The school administration sent her on a bus back to Ohio. After a long and painful ride, she struggled to make it to a hospital where she was diagnosed with appendicitis. Amazingly she survived and after regaining her health, and still determined to better her life, she took the bus back to New York City and was able to re-enroll in school.
On a blind date, arranged through some friends, she met her future husband. He also was studying for the ministry. They were married in the early 1940s and began their ministry together. It wasn’t long until she was a mom and started to juggle being a wife, parent, and pastor. They were ministers in The Salvation Army and in addition to pastoral duties they also were very involved in multiple ongoing services to their community. Just a little over a decade later she had five children and continued her full-time ministry in the adult rehabilitation social services department. Little known outside her circle, she lived a quiet life completely in service to Christ’s teachings. She raised her family, often sacrificing her wants for the wants and needs of her children.
In her walk, in service, she worked daily with the men that lived at the shelter where she and her husband ministered. Every holiday she made sure that every resident was remembered. On Mother’s Day, she made sure that each resident had a carnation to wear on his lapel, she pinned them on reminding them of the importance of family; of peace and love. Halloween, Easter, Christmas always included candy and/or gifts for the men at the Center. Thanksgiving included a big Thanksgiving spread that helped the men understand that they are loved and appreciated. Each got a cake and a gift on their birthday. Every Sunday after church this woman would collect her children and drive them to the Center for Sunday lunch. There in the dining hall, her entire family had their Sunday meal with all the residents. She and her husband said it was important for the men to see the importance of family and how families interact with each other in peace and nonviolence. She told her children that most of these men, due to some type of addiction, had lost their families and were at the Center trying to put their lives back together and her children needed to help in that plan.
By example, she raised her family to place service above self. Every day there was something going on to help at the Shelter or to help the community. During natural disasters, this amazing woman would make sure her family was safe and then off she went in a mobile canteen to help feed first responders or to provide food to victims of disasters. Her family was not just sitting at home waiting for her return. Instead, they were behind the scenes making the sandwiches and other foods that were to be given to those in need.
This woman was amazing at stretching a dollar. Almost every summer enough pennies were saved that her family would take a vacation, driving all around America pulling a small travel trailer. All seven of her family would live in this travel trailer for two to three weeks. Night time would have the girls in sleeping bags sprawled across the floor and the boys would sleep in the back of the station wagon or in a tent next to the trailer. Her children learned how to handle an RV including the nasty job of emptying and cleaning the water and sewer storage. Her children learned how to be independent and handle problems on their own.
This lady was also a prankster. Once while on a women’s retreat with the ladies of her church she waited until all were in the chapel and she sneaked out and worked fast and furious to remove every single one of their mattresses in her cabin and hide them leaving her mattress on her bed all made up with sheets and blankets. She returned to the service and upon returning to the cabin after service and supper she acted shocked, along with the others, when to her “surprise” all but her mattress was gone.
In her daily life, she was up early every morning making breakfast and packed lunches for her family and always having supper ready by 5:00 or 6:00. In between those hours she kept her home clean and was 100% involved in all her job responsibilities as well as her endless volunteering.
Often men at the shelter would call her Mom and they respected her for how she never judged them but showed them respect and love. Many would admit that at first, they thought her to be a pushover but learned quickly that her concern was true but she was also very tough. When men successfully made it through the program, they would leave with new skills for employment, were able to forgive themselves and forgive those that harmed them, and have an understanding that life involves service to others. Mom, along with her husband, taught them that.
Did this woman make any national or global impact? No, she didn’t. Did she make an impact on the lives of those around her? Yes, those that knew Mom learned to pass her faith and love of service to those that touch their circles. This selfless woman, in the late 1970s, was diagnosed with breast cancer. She made the decision to choose life and worked hard to win over cancer. She battled through the debilitating effects of chemotherapy and radiation. During her medical battle, her husband died from a sudden heart attack. She cried and mourned for him but was thankful for the time God blessed her to be side by side with her guy. One evening, during a particularly rough bought of chemo side effects her daughter looked at her and told her it was OK to stop the chemo if she wished. She would be respected and loved in any decision she would make. She responded, “The Bible says you must choose life and I will fight until the Lord takes me home.” Mom died in 1984, about six months after her husband died. Metastatic breast cancer won out in the end but in reality, it didn’t Yes, breast cancer took her physical body but she lives on through all the men at the shelter she helped, all the ladies in her church groups, and her family. Her children, I and my siblings, have had big shoes to fill. Marguerite Ruth Cox was and still is my mom. She is my hero. She was a champion of peace and love and one heck of a funny lady.
