R.I.P. The Lint Trap        

For a little bit of time now our clothes dryer is taking longer and longer to dry.  
One load of sheets and one blanket took four hours. I’ve resorted to washing and hanging
clothes up in the bathroom and in closets to get them dried.  The dryer, at this point,
is primarily reserved for our one son who is on the high school football team and needs
his gear cleaned every single day.

We started week three like this, and I finally threw in the towel, literally throwing it across
the room and telling my sister that enough is enough.  Of course, it didn’t help that our
dishwasher was also acting up and, God forbid, we do the dishes by hand. One would
think I condemned our 17-year-old boys to a sentence of life in prison without parole by
telling them we are doing the dishes by hand.   

My sister, Lindy, kindly called Sears Repair to schedule a visit to diagnose and hopefully
repair both appliances.  To be honest, I didn’t want to continue hand scrubbing clothes
and dishes. I know my parents, grandparents, and earlier generations of the family, by
the sweat of their brows, lived without all these conveniences but, I admit, that they had
much stronger constitutions than I.  The appointment was just days away and I was thrilled
that within the week I would get my life back together.

Wednesday arrived, and by late morning our wonderful repairman was already busy at
the dishwasher pressing buttons and checking drains.  It didn't take to long to diagnose the
problem and two electronic boards that would have to be ordered. A few more weeks of
handwashing and things would be as good as new.

The clothes dryer was next, and I answered his questions with ease and confidence since
I already diagnosed the problem and he would have it fixed in a jiffy.   After all, I checked
Youtube, and all the symptoms led to a buildup of lint inside the dryer. Watching a Youtube
video of how to clean out the inside ductwork I decided, from past Youtube repairs, it was
wise to let Mike, our trusty repairman clean everything out.  It was just a month earlier
that we moved the washer and dryer to this new spot in the house and in relocating them
we cleaned the outside vent to make sure it was in great shape. Except for cleaning the
lint trap after each use, the inside vent was to difficult to reach.  This is what Mike was
going to do.

Mike's first question was if I had checked the outside vent.  "Yes, indeedy," was my quick
reply. He ran some test and said there was no air flow which indicates a blockage from
the outside.  Hmm, I agreed to recheck it, humoring him since I had cleaned it out a month
earlier. Outside I went and reached my hand up into the vent and, by golly, I bumped up
against something.  Not being able to see in the vent my fingers groped around trying to
latch on to it and pull it out. Finally, I did get ahold of something and started to pull. It felt
like wet pet fur.  We do have a whole passel of critters, but I've never had a vent clog up
before. I kept tugging, and finally, it released itself. Sure enough, I had a palmful of hair.
But this hair was bunched up and shaped like a rope.  The more I looked at the pile of hair
I realized it looked like a tail. Oh my gosh, it WAS a tail! That's when my eyes focused on
the sticky liquid on my fingers. "Oh, Lord have mercy, please don't let this be a dead critter"
I wailed to myself.   That's not the words that came out of my mouth. Instead, a loud wail
which started every dog barking and one particular beagle mix began his mournful howl.

No way on God's green earth was I sticking my hand back up into the dryer vent knowing
that a decaying creature was in the process of returning to dust in there.  My clean hand
dialed my cell phone to have my sister, Lindy, bring me a screwdriver or something to pull
out the corpse. She was just leaving for work and would be late if she delayed to drive back
in and help me.  I told her to forget it. I used my clean hand to open the door, and the
nearest thing I could find was a tool I use to create pretty pointy corners in my sewing.
Back to the vent, where I hesitantlyand blindly poked around until I felt resistance.  It didn't
help that I had the dry heaves, but I finally found the mark. With one perfect poke, the
object came tumbling out and plopped into my hand! I screamed, instinct took over, and
I launched the dearly departed with a throw worthy of a Baseball Hall of Fame entry.  

As the decaying squirrel is sailing to its final resting place I hear through the wall of the
house from the laundry room, "You now have perfect airflow"!!!!!